Ship log

Changelog

The road from cardboard prototype to playable tavern — every milestone, newest first.

15 releases
Nov 2025 first commit
May 2026 latest
  1. #15 Latest

    ✨ Launch-week spit shine (you're reading it)

    • Automated checks and a performance budget now run on every change, because we don't trust ourselves. 🤝
    • Fonts are now self-hosted — faster load, no waiting on outside servers to render "Dungeon Jerks" all fancy.
    • Accessibility quick-wins and a lighter, snappier play screen on mobile. 📱
    • Features page fleshed out; character and feature grids now have a slick zoom-to-card modal.
    • Homepage card showcase upgraded into an animated 3D slideshow. Ooh. Shiny. 🌀
    • This very changelog got rewritten to be readable and, frankly, funnier. Hi! 👋
    • Still on the to-do list: the DNS quest, a few missing art slots, and ~93 gag cards awaiting judgment. 🧑‍⚖️
  2. #14

    📦 Repo goes public — the Great Push Week

    • Git history officially begins: the scaffold, the content parsing, the tile art, the big quality bump — all in.
    • Auto-deploy to Netlify on every push to main, plus a fix for assets that loaded crooked on refresh.
    • Narration polish all over the place: title booms, a narrator interrupt, and a slicker dice modal.
    • Crypt Comedy Club and a couple other rooms get their art finally sorted. 🎭
    • Character intros now speak in-character, and the Skip button got tidied up to only appear where it makes sense.
    • Handoff docs written so the next adventurer knows exactly where the bodies are buried. ⚰️
  3. #13

    📣 The marketing tavern gets built

    • A full marketing site appears: tavern-themed landing, a character grid, features, about, shop, and contact pages.
    • SEO, social share cards, and a sitemap so search engines know we exist and look good doing it. 🔍
    • A press kit page with a downloadable bundle, plus a smooth funnel nudging folks toward the demo.
    • Real bridge-card proportions and a snazzy 3D card showcase on the homepage. 🃏
    • A living style guide for the brand colors, fonts, and that signature snarky voice.
    • Contact and mailing-list forms wired up; a locked admin door sits in the corner looking mysterious. 🔒
    • Custom domain paperwork started for play.dungeonjerks.com (the DNS remains Adam's eternal side quest 🗡️).
  4. #12

    🧹 Showpiece UX & quality guardrails

    • The play screen got chopped into tidy pieces (setup, join, game-over) so the code stops being one terrifying mega-file.
    • Smart ability icons, a 3-second "oops, undo" window, and auto-resolve for no-brainer single targets. ⏪
    • A game log with portraits and timestamps, plus polite little toasts when something misbehaves.
    • Installable as an app (PWA) with offline-friendly caching for art and audio. 📲
    • One command now runs every quality check before anything ships — robots guard the gates. 🤖
    • A pile of social-pressure abilities reworked into real in-app comply/refuse choices.
    • Squashed bugs: effects hitting the wrong player, an invisible fog seam, and weird crops on intros. 🐛
  5. #11

    🏆 Polish pass — fog, intros, and sweet, sweet victory

    • A cinematic title intro on game setup, a sleeker see-through HUD, and moodier full-screen fog. 🎬
    • Card reveals now hug the actual art shape, with readable title pills and a beat longer to soak it in.
    • Auto-roll politely waits for narration to finish — no more talking over the storyteller.
    • A victory finale with your portrait, stats (tiles, nat 20s, deaths 💀), and an auto-written recap of your reign of terror.
    • Share your win as an image, because what's the point of winning if you can't flex? 📸
    • A gentle first-turn coach for newbies, plus a demo mode (?demo=1) for streamers and show-offs.
    • Nat 1 and Nat 20 now get their own sound, screen shake, flash, and a smug little quip. 🎉
    • Snag +1 GP every time you reveal a fresh tile — and we removed the ability to secretly edit your own stats. (We saw you. 👁️)
  6. #10

    🔗 Multiplayer — pass the phone OR pass the link

    • Online play arrives: spin up a game, fire off invite links, and everyone stays in sync every few seconds.
    • Only whoever's turn it is can change the official game state — your dice and animations stay snappy and local.
    • Invite screen with QR codes, a copy-link button, and a live "3/5 joined" counter for the host. 📱
    • In-game text chat, a spectator overlay, and friendly little banners when the connection hiccups.
    • Board fog, borrow/swap pickers, deck filters, and a glowing aura ability all join the party. ✨
    • Read-only spectator links got bumped to a later update — Rome wasn't synced in a day. 🏛️
  7. #9

    ⚙️ Mechanics get a rulebook (the boring-but-vital one)

    • A proper mechanics doc becomes law: every effect type written down with its real implementation status. No more vibes-based coding. 📐
    • The card audit gets wired straight into gameplay — flagged cards actually behave differently now.
    • Those 84 "do a physical thing" cards finally get real buttons instead of demanding cartwheels. 🤸‍♂️
    • HP/GP labels swept consistent across all 304 card faces. Tedious? Yes. Worth it? Also yes.
    • Roll tables audited for sneaky overlaps; added a pick-your-reward prompt for GP-vs-HP choices.
    • Grim Rapper, Dr. Brainbow, Juicebox and friends get abilities that actually DO something now. 🎤
    • Sticky narrative cards wired up: Cloak, Belt, Floor is Spiders, the Inn, your Evil Twin, and a growing pile of gag rooms. 🕸️
  8. #8

    🎵 Quips, music & the full audio glow-up

    • Characters now talk smack when they take damage, use powers, or simply enter a room. Dozens of distinct voices, all equally insufferable. 😈
    • Character intros get the full red-carpet treatment: card flip, narration, and a name tag on the front.
    • Background music that politely ducks under narration, sound effects, and ambient wind that shifts with each room's mood. 🌬️
    • Death announcements now interrupt EVERYTHING. Nobody misses a glorious wipeout.
    • Voice chat groundwork laid, so you can trash-talk friends across time zones in real time. 📞
    • Slot-machine roll carousel + a multi-roll modal for those "even the ceiling hates me today" streaks. 🎰
  9. #7

    🔊 The dungeon learns to talk

    • ~1600 voice clips get pre-recorded and tucked into the app, so most lines play instantly.
    • Rare one-off lines get spoken on demand and cached, because pre-baking literally everything would be unhinged.
    • The narrator reads tile and card backs, then announces your fate once the dice settle. Dramatic pauses included. 🎭
    • Character names and card titles now BOOM on reveal. Subtlety is dead and we killed it. 💥
    • Added a Skip button for long intros — sometimes you just wanna roll and ruin a friendship, we get it.
    • +N GP / −N HP now get read aloud as real "gold pieces" and "hit points" for the table.
  10. #6

    🖼️ Art gets wired in, the void retires

    • Tile art moves into the app and the board finally stops looking like a haunted purple abyss.
    • Action card art shows up in the roll modals; character portraits move into the player HUD looking smug.
    • Placed tiles now remember their own faces instead of getting amnesia every reveal. 🧠
    • Villains and NPCs join the heroes, each tagged with a tidy little type pill.
    • The roster swings open from a demo handful to the full 89 jerks (a couple shy ones still waiting on their portraits). 📸
  11. #5

    🗺️ A board, some tiles, and the first real game

    • A pannable, zoomable board with little figures gliding between rooms. Fog and placeholders cover for art that's still in the green room. 🌫️
    • Tile reveals get their flow: flip, gawk at the art, read the table, suffer the consequences.
    • Action cards slide in from the corner pile, complete with a target picker for when your "gift" is actually an attack. 🎁
    • Animated d20, floating HUD, bouncing ±HP/GP numbers, and status pills (still growing extra limbs).
    • A game-over screen with standings and a restart button — proof the whole thing loops without a human DM babysitting it. 🙌
  12. #4

    💻 The digital tavern opens its doors

    • SvelteKit + TypeScript scaffold goes up. Pass-and-play on one device, exactly like the cardboard demands.
    • Netlify picked for hosting. (We flirted with a fancier backend for a hot second, then came to our senses. 😅)
    • Content gets baked into the app at build time — the browser never phones home to a spreadsheet mid-game.
    • All the goods land in the repo: 110 tiles, 89 characters, 105 action cards. That's a lot of bad decisions, neatly typed.
    • The whole game state is one tidy blob — same shape for couch play and whatever wild multiplayer comes next.
  13. #3

    🎨 Art shows up & 84 cards get a stern talking-to

    • Illustrated card art lands in Dropbox and little scripts play matchmaker between filenames and card IDs. 💘
    • Art exports at 1120px, quality cranked up — no blurry mystery-meat thumbnails at the tavern table.
    • Audit flags 84 cards that told you to physically do something ("do a cartwheel"). Those need real in-app buttons, not interpretive dance. 🤸
    • HP/GP labels standardized as +N GP and −N HP so humans and computers stop arguing.
    • A missing-art list is born, so the gaps stay loud and visible instead of sneaking into production. 👀
  14. #2

    📒 The content bible (a.k.a. spreadsheet o' doom)

    • Tiles, characters, and actions all move into Airtable so there's one source of truth instead of seven contradictory sticky notes.
    • Every tile gets grid coordinates. The welcome tile plants its flag at (0,0) and refuses to move. Stubborn little guy. 🚩
    • Roll tables get simplified to three outcome bands instead of twenty hand-written rows. Your wrist thanks us.
    • Heroes, villains, and NPCs sketched out — abilities written for the kitchen table first, screens second.
    • The Great Card Audit begins: keep it, fix it, or drag it out back. 🪓
  15. #1

    🎲 It begins (on actual cardboard)

    • Adam Aragon & ThreeSided Studios cook up Dungeon Jerks — a snarky tile-and-card crawl for 3–8 players. PG-13. "D&D for ADHD." 🍻
    • The loop locks in: roll a d20, stomp around on tiles, draw chaos, fight over gold, die in the most embarrassing way possible. 💀
    • First prototype is a grid board, some deck piles, papercraft standees, and a gold pot everyone "shares" (read: eyeballs greedily).
    • Tone established early: irreverent, punchy, and a rulebook no thicker than a beer coaster. If you need a tutorial, you've already lost. 😏
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Dev log

Raw commits straight from git since 2026-05-26 — auto-updated each build (May 31, 2026).

2026-05-30

  • Drop The Plague Doctor — duplicate of Doctor Sinister c260405